


Hold On

by Moonscar



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood, Denial, Emotional Hurt, Father-Son Relationship, Grief, Heavy Angst, Hurt Peter, Hurt Peter Parker, Injury, One Sentence, Peter Needs a Hug, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Self-Harm, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Suicide Notes, although it's in like, emotional breakdown, graphic depictions of blood, survivor's guilt, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-20
Updated: 2018-11-20
Packaged: 2019-08-26 09:25:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16678945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonscar/pseuds/Moonscar
Summary: It had all went downhill so quickly.Tony had found the note prematurely, written by hand. It had been place neatly by his bedside on the nightstand, carefully folded with his name written on it, in clear, neat writing.When he had opened it, he didn't even bother reading it. The moment his had scanned over the first words he knew what was going on, knew he had to stop it.





	Hold On

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE ATTEMPT AND SELF-HARM
> 
> YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

It had all went downhill so quickly.

Tony had found the note prematurely, written by hand. It had been place neatly by his bedside on the nightstand, carefully folded with his name written on it, in clear, neat writing.

When he had opened it, he didn't even bother reading it. The moment his had scanned over the first words he knew what was going on, knew he had to stop it.

_I'm Sorry_

Those were the only words he had read. The words now slowly siring into his brain, burning itself into his memory forever. 

Tony rushed through the halls, barely registering FRIDAY's voice directing him on where to go. It must've only been a minute or two before he arrived in front of the bathroom door, yet it felt as though it had been an eternity and a half.

Tony doesn't even need to ask FRIDAY to open the door. Tony doesn't really think about the fact that Peter would have locked it. If he had though, he would have felt grateful for having put enough coding in FRIDAY to understand these situations.

Then suddenly Tony rushes into the bathroom.

_Everything is red._

Tony feels his heart stutter.

There is Peter, laying in the bathtub fully clothed, eyes half closed as his arms leaked all over the tiled floor, into the filled bathtub now stained in this bright red, a much lighter color than blood because of the blood. 

Then there's his arms,  _oh god his arms,_ there are cuts sprawled all over them, the crimson blood just kept flowing.

 Flowing and flowing  _and flowing_

Tony rushes over and Peter's head tilts just slightly and all Tony can think about is the fact that he's so grateful because  _it means he's alive_.

Not for much longer though. 

Suddenly Tony hears a clatter of metal against the porcelain of the tub and he just now realizes that Peter had been clutching a knife in his hand, but he can't think about that now. All he knows is that Peter isn't dead yet. Tony doesn't even hesitate as he scoops him up in his arms. The bloody water sloshes onto the floor, spreading out onto more surface. It stained his clothing but he couldn't give a shit about that. Tony rushed outside, almost slipping on the bloodied water as he rushed to the elevator, not wasting a single second. He could hear his heart beat thumping in his ears and his ragged breathing and-

Then Peter spoke.

" You w'rn't s'pos t' get her' so e'rly " Peter slurred, eyes half lidded as he looked down at his arms lined with cuts, some of them seemingly trying to heal.

Tony could feel his heart crack.

He decided to ignore Peter's comment, because they could address that later.

If there ever was a later.

" Come on kid, don't fall asleep on me, you can't leave me like this, I need you to hold on, hold on just a little while longer " Tony practically begged as the elevator went down to the floor where med bay was, and it couldn't be going any slower. 

Peter didn't respond

Panic gripped at Tony's chest suddenly and before he the panic could translate, the door's opened.

Tony stumbled out of the elevator and a scream ripped though his throat. He doesn't know what he says, doesn't know if he says anything at all. 

All he knows is that he's screaming.

Then suddenly doctors are taking Peter away and talking gibberish as they roll him away to the Emergency Room, and Tony follows them, his movements sloppy. 

Then they roll him inside a room and Tony is forced to stay outside of the room, forced to watch it all go down as the doctors spoke to each other, poking at Peter and and wrapping him in gauze and treating his arms and trying to pump blood into him as the heart monitor beeped relentlessly.

Tony took a moment to look down at his hands.

The hands now stained in red. Stained with the blood of his son. 

In that moment Tony knew that no matter how much he washed his hands, the blood would always be there, no matter how much he cleaned them or tried to rid of it, the blood would  _always be there._

He doesn't feel the tears roll down his cheeks as he looks back up and focuses solely on the heart monitor. It was the only thing proving to Tony that his son wasn't dead, hadn't died in this tower, hadn't died in his arms.

Proof that he hadn't given up just yet.

He wouldn't survive through Peter's death, wouldn't be able to live through it like he had with everyone else. Who would call him at 3 Am rambling about a science project, even though Tony knew he just did it because of nightmares? Who would stay up late with him watching movies or messing around in the lab? Yet still drag him to bed when he goes days without sleeping, or make him some food when he hadn't eaten all day?

Who would fill in the hole he would leave in his heart?

All he needed was for Peter to hold on

Hold on

_Hold on_

_Hold on for just a little while longer_

_All he needs if for his son to hold on longer_

Just as this thought crosses his mind something horrible happens.

_The heart monitor flat lines_

Tony finally feels his heart shatter the same moment Peter's heart stops beating.

Peter had never disobeyed him before, never when it truly matter.

Why is it that when it was the most important time for Peter to listen to him, he doesn't?

_Just this one fucking time_

_This one time, please, i'll do anything._

Tony begs, prays even though he doesn't believe in god. He'll do anything just to have his kid live. 

This was so much worst than just a hole being left in his heart. 

It's so much worst

Tony can feel his heart shattering into billions of pieces, denial trying to seep in and fix it, mend his broken heart back together but he knows it won't happen. The kid in the one who had mended it, and now that he's gone, it's breaking all over again, as though his presence had seeped in between the cracks and held it together.

Until now that is.

The doctors are working frantically, and Tony doesn't doubt that at this point any normal doctor would have thrown in the towel because it would need a miracle for Peter to come back.

Come back to the life he had willingly wanted to leave behind

 

 

But then a miracle happens

 

 

 

 

 

_There's a heartbeat._

**Author's Note:**

> I felt horrible writing this it was... wow. I almost didn't post it because I felt so bad writing it, even though I wrote it? How does that even make sense?
> 
> My heart hearts for this boi
> 
> Although! Please tell me what you thought? I love reading comments and replying to them! =D


End file.
